paul's falling apart

This week is week 1 of softball. Church league started Monday, mens league started tonight. We won 14 to 4 in 5 innings on Monday and 17 to 7 in 6 innings tonight. I am sooo sore right now its incredible. I didn't snowboard at all this winter so its gonna take me a bit longer to get used to all this running.

On a disgusting note I no longer have a fingernail on my middle finger. The skin underneath is all mangled and diseased looking. Its pretty sick. I'm wearing a band-aid on it to save everyone else from the sight of it and to save me from accidently catching it or hitting it on anything. It doesn't hurt at all, but its a little sensitive. And UGLY.

On the way home from ball tonight I drove past a horrific accident on 169. Right in front of McDonalds. Looks like an SUV was going pretty fast and hit a car on the passenger side door. The car was sitting on its side. There was an ambulance rushing to the scene. I really hope no one was in the passenger seat. The door was crushed pretty far into the car. I'm really hoping the injuries aren't as serious as I'm worried they might be.

Tomorrow is Friday. Nice. 4 hour day tomorrow and then the weekend begins. I was thinking of going to the Twins game on Saturday but I'm not sure yet. Normally when the media starts upping the fear level with talks of disease and all I don't listen. But now with kids and all this stupid swine flu scare has me a little worried. Not paranoid, but a little worried. I can't imagine the kids getting something like that. I don't even wanna think about it. So I'm not sure that I wanna take Chloe to the dome right now. We'll see. I seriously feel dumb for even worrying about it at all, but with kids...my viewpoint is just different than it used to be. I worry more.

Eh. Bedtime. Goodnight all!

-the arrogance of faith, the arrogance of doubt-

finally it is friday tomorrow. what a long strange week its been. today was a 6:15 to 5:45 day without a break of any kind. non stop driving and delivering. good times. i was sooo hungry and tired and sweaty by the time i got home. (it was 85 degrees today) the good news? i only have 4 hours until my 40 hours is up. so..I'll be done by 11 am tomorrow. my plans for the weekend? nothing! well, maybe poker here on saturday night. other then that...cleaning the house and the yard and all. fun huh?

this last week has been very strange. at work especially. unfortunately i cant get into details here. oh well.


chloe and i went to the park for a bit tonight. my mom was nice enough to PT gig for me tonight. thanks mom! we came back and made milkshakes. Mmmmm. they werent too bad. now? im just tired. i need to get some sleep. im thinking another shower sounds good 1st though.

what a pointless post this has been...sorry. :)

-naked as we came-

this is another iron & wine song ive been really liking lately. this is a cover of it...and i prefer it over the original. so im posting it. you should watch it. come on...watch it.





She says "wake up, it's no use pretending"
I'll keep stealing, breathing her.
Birds are leaving over autumn's ending
One of us will die inside these arms

Eyes wide open, naked as we came
One will spread our ashes 'round the yard

She says "If I leave before you, darling
Don't you waste me in the ground"
I lay smiling like our sleeping children
One of us will die inside these arms

Eyes wide open, naked as we came
One will spread our ashes 'round the yard

-the trapeze swinger-

yes i am about a year or so behind...but this song is nailing me lately. i think ive listened to it 47 million times this week alone. 47 million is a lot.



Please, remember me
Happily
By the rosebush laughing
With bruises on my chin
The time when
We counted every black car passing
Your house beneath the hill
And up until
Someone caught us in the kitchen
With maps, a mountain range,
A piggy bank
A vision too removed to mention
And

Please, remember me
Fondly
I heard from someone you're still pretty
And then
They went on to say
That the pearly gates
Has some eloquent graffiti
Like 'We'll meet again'
And 'Fuck the man'
And 'Tell my mother not to worry'
And angels with their great
Handshakes
But they're always done in such a hurry
And

Please, remember me
At Halloween
Making fools of all the neighbors
Our faces painted white
By midnight
We'd forgotten one another
And when the morning came
I was ashamed
Only now it seems so silly
That season left the world
And then returned
And now you're lit up by the city
And

Please, remember me
Mistakenly
In the window of the tallest tower
Calling passers by
But much too high
To see the empty road at happy hour
Gleam and resonate
Just like the gates
Around the holy kingdom
With words like 'Lost and Found' and 'Don't Look Down'
And 'Someone Save Temptation'
And

Please, remember me
As in the dream
We had as rug-burned babies
Among the fallen trees
And fast asleep
Aside the lions and the ladies
That called you what you like
And even might
Give a gift for your behavior
A fleeting chance to see
A trapeze
Swinger high as any savior
And

Please, remember me
My misery
And how it lost me all I wanted
Those dogs that love the rain
And chasing trains
The colored birds above their running
In circles round the well
To where it spells
On the wall behind St. Peter
So bright on cinder gray
In spray paint
'Who the hell can see forever?'
And

Please, remember me
Seldomly
In the car behind the carnival
My hands between your knees
You turn from me
And said 'The trapeze act was wonderful
But never meant to last'
The clowns that passed
Saw me just come up with anger
When it filled with circus dogs
The parking lot
It had an element of danger
And

Please, remember me
Finally
And all my uphill clawing
My dear
And if i make
The pearly gates
I'll do my best to make a drawing
Of God and Lucifer
A boy and girl
An angel kissin on a sinner
A monkey and a man
A marching band
All around the frightened trapeze swinger

great story

thanks to Ross for sending me this story. its the most inspired ive been by a sporting moment in a long time. the crowds reaction is seriously incredible. i had to post it cause YOU gotta see it.