Work was pretty crazy this week. Monday was pretty average. But Monday is one of my busier days. So an average Monday is...well, busy. Tuesday was literally the slowest Tuesday I've ever had. But it worked out well because Chloe had an open house at school. So I was able to get up there and sit in with her during class. She did great. She listened. She participated. She held my hand the entire time. Have I ever mentioned how awesome she is? It blows my mind sometimes.
Anyways, where was I?..oh work. Wednesday and Thursday were literally the busiest Wednesday and Thursday I've ever had. In the middle of the running on Thursday I found what appeared to be a dead baby mouse on the ground near the back of my truck. As I walked away I noticed it moving. It must have only been a couple days old at most. Its eyes were still closed and it wasn't real good at the whole walking thing. I argued with myself for a couple minutes. "Pick it up and take it home" vs "Its a frickin mouse, leave it there." Yeah, I took it home. We've been feeding it and keeping it warm and all. I figured if it survived it could be Chloe's first pet, and if it died- well I tried anyway.
Mousey did well yesterday and most of today. I fed it with an eye dropper and made it a little home to keep it warm. Dylan and Chloe helped out too, and Chloe got pretty attached. For the 2nd half of today I could tell mousey wasn't doing very well. I warned Chloe that he might not live through the day. She just kept talking about what mousey would be like when he grew up. Sure enough- mousey died. I can't even put into words how Chloe reacted. This is tough to say but she reacted the same way I would imagine myself reacting if something happened to her. She threw her arms in the air, fell to the ground in a heap and yelled, "Noooo mousey!". She pleaded for mousey to come back. She begged me to try different things to bring him back, including a little water on his face. The sobbing and hysterical fits went on for about an hour. One of the hardest hours of my daddy life. I never thought my inability to resurrect a dead mouse would make me feel so helpless.
She helped me bury him in the back yard. She said her goodbye. 10 minutes later she grabbed a spoon and wanted to dig him up. She didn't want a bird, squirrel or dog to dig him up. "Doggies are very good diggers daddy." Then the tough questions. "Will mousey go to heaven?". "Will Grandma Virginia be nice to mousey?" "When is Jesus going to come to pick up mousey?" "What color is Jesus?" "Can I stay up to watch Jesus pick up mousey?" "Will mousey grow up in heaven?" And then, the most heart breaking statement I have ever heard in my life. She looked right at me with her tear filled blue eyes and said, "daddy, I don't want to die when I'm older."
The death of a mouse. I'm broken hearted. I'm tripping over my own theologies. I'm questioning faith and God and all that goes with it. Its a question I've always asked. And its one that's always hurt. "Why do the people (and animals) that we love so much have to die?" All this over a mouse. If only I had it left it lay there. :)
After all her mourning Chloe was obviously tired. We laid down in bed to watch some cartoons and snuggle a bit. Poor kid. Dylan was upstairs using the bathroom at the time. Why is that important? You'll see in a minute. As Chloe laid next to me I felt a drop of moisture on my chest. I thought somehow a tear had leaped over onto me. A couple seconds later, another drop. I looked up at the ceiling. Sure enough, beads of water in the seam. I jumped out of bed and ran upstairs in what would be world record time if only it had been officially timed. The toilet is running...but apparently the seal is leaking...bad. Long story short- my plans of early bed time were replaced by me working on a ****ing toilet. A ****ING TOILET! The mess is cleaned up. The toilet is as fixed as it can be and needs to be for now. I'm back in bed with a still sad Chloe. She wants to dig mousey up tomorrow to see how his bodies doing. She is not happy with me for telling her no. For tonight I feel pretty powerless.
Anyways, happy news. Chloe and I are going to watch our friend Libbey get married tomorrow. Congrats to Libbey and Roger! After the wedding I have to cruise immediately up to Minneapolis. The Weakerthans are playing at The Triple Rock. Should be a very good show. Chloe is going to stay at Mandra's for the night so I'll be able to stay up and spend some time with friends. Should be a fun day. Last weekend Chloe and I went to the Twins game with Ross and Missy on Sunday afternoon. Thanks again to Missy for the great tickets. We left the dome and drove right over to Xcel in St. Paul to watch the Wild play. Again, great seats for free. 4 rows up right next to the Wild bench. It was only a preseason game, but it was very well played and VERY hard hitting. There were 5 fights through the first 2 periods including 2 right in front of us. The fights, the hard hits into the boards just feet in front of us, the roar of the crowd, the horn when the Wild scored- I was loving it. I was fired up. Chloe HATED it. She was so scared. Her first "big hockey game" and we were just too close. The last fight left blood on the ice. I could see every drop. We were just too close for her. It was a blast, but I left after the 2nd period. Chloe just wasn't having fun.
I have blabbed on way too much. More later.
0 comments:
Post a Comment