yesterday was a good day

i said yesterday that if i managed to make it through the day without falling that i would call it a good day. yesterday was a good day. today was good for about an hour. my right knee cap is now bruised. today was NOT a good day. i had me a little fall. i fell so hard that all i could do was thank god i hit my knee instead of my face. but now my knee hurts, so...

ive written some posts here titled "why im an idiot"...basically describing how helpless i am when it comes to house work. my efforts always end in the job not getting done...tools being thrown...and phone calls being made to other, more able people. heres a different kind of story friends. my toilet was leaking last week. i realized ON MY OWN that the wax seal was leaking. so i made a call. please come put a new wax seal on for me, i said. i went to menards and bought one. my helper never showed up so i decided to give it a go. tools were thrown, a few choice words were said...BUT the end result: my toilet is working, and is not leaking. im not going to claim i feel secure with my work. ive checked at least a dozen times to make sure its not leaking again. both in bathroom, and in the basement below. so far, so good. i am no longer helpless. i am helpless minus one.

the slowing economy is hitting closer to home. ive already had to go to a few different places to pick up their tanks due to the business/department closing, and now there are more customers telling me of hard times. anyways, because of all that we have done some restructuring...people have been let go. today they told us we will no longer be working ANY overtime. this is going to cost me about 400 to 500 bucks a month. things are going to tighten up. it sucks. all signs are pointing to things getting worse before they get better. so what that means to my job, i dont know. i feel lucky to have a job...but i feel stressed about this darkness seemingly closing in closer to home. im tired of hearing the economic news. im tired of my house value dropping every month, while my loan balance goes no where. and im frickin tired of being sick! how long can a cold last. i honestly thought i was better...then it just came back again.

tonight. im going to try to get to sleep early and get a good, full nights sleep. i said try. thats all i can do.

i seriously REALLY wanted to go to seattle this summer. argh.