-hockey game-

chloe got to go to her first hockey game tonight. she was so excited to go. she thought we were going up to the "big hockey game in the cities" and was kinda disappointed to have to settle for the "little hockey game in st peter". but i told her if she had fun at the gustavus game that i would take her to a wild game. good plan daddy, that'll only cost a couple hundred bucks. the things i do for girls, i tells ya. my uncle rick and his grandson josiah met us over at the game. good times were had...i may have eaten a lot of food. i dont remember. what is it about sporting events that make me feel the need to gain 20 pounds in one night? it makes NO sense.

so...grandma rosie's cancer. the doctors are now saying she needs chemo. BUT, if chemo were started today it would kill her. her heart is said to be running at 50%. they want to check her out again in 2 weeks to see at that time if things look better. but they told us that her heart condition is because of her age, so why would it be any better in 2 weeks? makes no sense to me. if chemo cant be done, the cancer will run its course within 2 years. and thats not even mentioning the fact that shes been on the verge of kidney failure for a bit now. so...whats best for her? do we really want to watch her spend her remaining days going through chemo? my vote is no.

grandma virginia was in alexandria as she died. she was far enough away for it to feel...almost fake i guess. grandpa tom was in the cities. he was far enough away. grandma rosie is in st peter. and has been a central part of my life at every stage along the way. this one is close. this one can not be fake. this one will happen as i watch. this one is hard. i went to visit her today for the 1st time since hearing the update. it was hard. there we sat visiting like always, with this horrible news just hanging out in the room. no one acknowledged it...no one should at this point, but there it is, just hanging out. my goal...lets help her to do this as easily as possible. and lets enjoy the time we have.